Perceptions and Stress

How you perceive a situation will affect how you respond. Whether you choose to address the issue or to avoid it. If you have a negative perception then you are more likely to experience anxiety and not be able to effectively take care of the problem. This will then reinforce that you have no control over the outcome and reinforce the perception of being helpless. On the other hand, a positive perception will help you to find a way to deal with the challenge you are presented with. If you choose to take responsibility for your feelings and actions then you are more likely to have a positive outcome. This will reinforce the sense of resiliency and empowerment. Breaking old patterns of behavior is difficult, especially when trying to do it by yourself. Being willing to look at yourself and to identify changes you would like to make takes a lot of energy and time. The more effort you put into making a positive lifestyle change, the greater the feeling of accomplishment you will experience. Develop a support system, whether family, friends or a counselor. Having someone that helps you to make positive change will increase the likelihood that the change will be long term instead of temporary.

Read more by Loren Fogelman at http://www.kolpiacounseling.com/index.html

Stress and Control

Stress is contributed to the desire to be in control. This not only includes control over yourself, but control over other people and your environment. Trying to control others and your environment, however, is impossible. You only have control over your own thoughts and actions. In order to relieve stress and anxiety it is important to let go of trying to control things outside of yourself. We are unable to foresee the future and cannot control what events will happen next. Focusing on future potential problems contributes to anxiety. On the other hand, people are able to prepare for things that might occur and have a plan of how you would like to respond to events. This could be as simple as having a repair kit in your car for getting a flat tire or preparation for an interview and the questions that might be asked during the interview process.

Part of living life is that things always change. Change is normal. How you perceive something will impact how you react to it. This is where the fight or flight reaction occurs. You can decide to be proactive and address the situation. Making a choice to take care of things when they occur. Or you can expend a lot of energy avoiding issues and letting them build. Taking action will actually help to reduce stress and anxiety in the long run. In addition, there will be a feeling of empowerment as you begin to deal with problems as they arise. Trust your intuition and creatively think of all ways you could resolve the issue at hand. Even if you try to tackle a problem and don’t succeed, you could then view this as a temporary setback. Review what happened and try to approach it differently. Setbacks can be temporary. Find who your friends are and develop a support system. Another option is to seek counseling in order to have someone that is impartial as part of your support system. You don’t have to always take care of problems by yourself. Ask your friends, counselor or other support persons what they think about a situation. They might have ideas that you would not think of on your own. Learning to address problems as they occur will help you to change your perception of things from problems to challenges. Doing so will continue to help you build your sense of self esteem and empowerment. Identifying challenges as they occur, developing a plan to deal with the challenge, asking others for their point of view, taking action and keeping focus on the goal you are working toward will help to strengthen your resiliency.

Read more by Loren Fogelman at http://www.kolpiacounseling.com/index.html

Holiday Boundaries

There are some things you do have control over. You can control how you feel, think and act. Before you get together with your family, think about how you want to be when you are around them. What boundaries can you set to avoid frustration, hurt or disappointment? If you feel you have to show up at a function due to obligation, there are some things you can do. Consider bringing another person who will be a support for you and a buffer with your family. Choose someone that will be your advocate. You could choose to arrive late and leave early. That way you will make your obligatory appearance, but don’t have to stay for the entire event. Another option is that you can choose to make different plans. You only need to do something one time in order to establish a new ritual. Be aware of what you can do to maintain control of how you choose to spend the holidays this year.

Read more by Loren Fogelman at http://www.kolpiacounseling.com/